Tuesday, 16 February 2010


Hans and Chloe sat outside on the balcony, gazing up into the night sky. The sea breeze whipped them gently in that pleasing way that forces people to differentiate it from the regular blow heavy rain into your face type of wind. It was nice to get away from the castle for a bit of a break, especially after what had just happened.
“So what do you reckon then?” asked Chloe.
“Nah, it just didn’t feel right. To be honest it was just a bit too strange,” replied Hans.
“Oh, shame really, you seemed to enjoy it too,” she lamented.
“Yeah, well enjoy it yes, but no, it’s not right and it won’t ever be. Even covered in cream it wouldn’t!”
“So what do you want to do then?”
“Well, I obviously should have tried to track down exactly what type of snake was present at the garden of Eden then, shouldn’t I. Cos obviously not all of them are gonna taste the same are they.”
“I don’t know. Anyway, it’s a start,” commented Chloe. She stretched and then stood up. “Fancy a walk along the beach before bed?”
“I’m not that tired,” replied Hans instinctively then, realising what she’d actually said. It certainly took him by surprise, he usually had to beg and plead for hours, and that was just for a kiss. Mind you these days if something weird and completely confusing didn’t happen it was pretty unusual day. At least it was a fair bit better than some of the shocks he’d had of late.
Then he got another, Chloe had vanished. He panicked; people didn’t vanish into thin air (or thick air for that matter). This wasn’t supposed to happen; he’d done all the heroic malarkey, so he should just get the girl and disappears into the sunset. 'Why did these things always happen to him?' he thought as he sank to his knees, or at least tried to but he couldn’t move at all.
“Snap out of it,” he heard a somewhat distant yet near voice call out to him. He was sure it sounded like Chloe. It could only mean one thing... now he was hallucinating, fantastic, things just couldn’t get better. This was the moment when the cold water splashed all over him.
He suddenly became alert to his real surroundings. He was still chained up in Daniel’s basement, soaking wet and one of Chloe’s fangs was jabbing him in the ribs. “I’m glad you’re finally awake”, she said, looking up into his eyes playfully, “I thought the two of us could go away somewhere for the weekend.”
Hans groaned.

PS. ‘Dazed’ and ‘Confused’ have seen a marriage counsellor and are now back together after Dazed promised to go out and get a job instead of sitting around watching repeats of Corrie all day. ‘And’ is now completely out of the equation and is looking to sue.