Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Cats and Dogs

“Are yeh sure yeh’re okay?” asked Mervin.
“I’ll be fine, but you’ve got to do something,” Jane said in a tone that you just wouldn’t ever want to defy.
“What? Why?” cried Mervin, perplexed by the whole situation.
One minute he was in the kitchen washing up after dinner, and the next thing he heard was this horrific shriek from the sitting room. He’d hurried to find out what was wrong and had found her strewn across the floor, frothing at the mouth. That wasn’t confusing; why she was acting as if nothing had happened was though.
“Look,” she said in a commanding voice, “you want the best for your daughter and Hans don’t you?”
He had to think about this. Chloe didn’t half pick them, firstly that vampire chap, and now a guy who contradicts the saying ‘When you make a foolproof item they make a better fool’, because he already existed. However daft he was though, Mervin had taken quite a liking to the guy and so answered an unhesitant, “Yes.”
“Well you see, Hans has this habit of messing up on first dates, and I just had one of those premonition things.”
“One of those that we’d been talking about earlier?” Mervin asked. Jane had been having visions about getting into the castle as well which had turned out to be false. After a bit of rummaging around the libraries, they’d found True Premonition Syndrome a disease that occurs in non-magical families, and instead of being what you would think, actually meant all her visions were completely inaccurate.
“Yes those, and I just saw them having a good time and enjoying their meal.”
“So what’s wrong with that, enjoying themselves isn’t a bad thing. Is it?”
“Yes,” she screamed, Mervin blatantly hadn’t been listening to a word she’d spoken, so she’d have to make it clear to him. “It’s not going to happen, he’ll do something stupid, I can feel it, hell I just collapsed because of it, so come on then, magic them happy or something, you’re the bloody wizard aren’t you!”
He sighed. “I wish I could, but it’s just not possible, I mean I can alter yeh physical things, temperature, movement, weather and the like but not emotions, yeh just can’t alter them, they’re too unpredictable.”
“You said weather then didn’t you, hmm, hasn’t Chloe got a fear of water?” she asked expectantly.
“Aye, but how’s that gonna help?”
“Well if you get it to rain cats and dogs, y’know, really heavily, splashing on just about every surface, add a swirling wind if you want, just for artistic effect, she won’t be able to leave then, I mean it’s the least we could do!”
Mervin felt uneasy about this idea, he was sure that it wouldn’t work out how she imagined it would; he believed it was quite harsh thing to do. He protested, but it was no use, she’d won.
“It’ll be fine, you’ll see,” said Jane confidently as she strolled out of the room, leaving a rather resigned Mervin behind.