Tuesday, 16 February 2010

The Case of the Missing Unicorns

Trying to find a group of unicorns is not the easiest task in the world. For a start, it’s not like trying to find your local pub, they don’t stay still for a start and they certainly don’t advertise their existence in tacky travel brochures either. This is because officially they don’t exist, as you may well have noticed and believed for quite some time. Whilst unicorns are not necessarily anti-social, they tend to be shy unless there are any young female virgins handy. They’ve also seen what humans have done to elephants with their tusks and don’t really want to go down that same path.
On the other hand, finding a group of unicorns that have had their horns removed is a like trying to find a corrupt former MP in the House of Lords, it won’t take two minutes. In fact it took Hans and Jane twenty minutes after they left the castle, however most of that time was spent arguing over who was going to drive.
Their destination was McGregor’s farm and when they arrived it wasn’t difficult to spot the unicorns rampaging around. To be honest someone should have realised it was a bit odd having 20 bright white horses in the same place, but then again you do tend to get a little distracted when you catch a five-eyed fish.
They decided to split up and search for clues, which however many times it works in children’s television programs, is generally not a good idea with someone like Hans around. After scouting around for a while Jane called Hans over to show him a piece of pink ribbon she’d found. Hans in turn showed her rather excitedly a set of tire tracks he’d found.
“So all we need to do is match the tread and we’ve got them!” exclaimed Hans.
“Yeah,” replied Jane, “that would be great if these weren’t from our car.”
“Oh,” said Hans feeling rather dejected. “Oh well, let’s get back then. I’ve got something rather important to get ready for.”